The lights go down. We are all waiting. There are shouts. “JESUS JESUS JESUS” one man meekly cries out “kid rock?” but he is pummeled with the many roving ocelots. Soon the sound of a guitar, Jesus steps out onto the stage. He looks out, raises his pick to the sky,
“ARE YOU READY FOR SOME ROCK AND ROLL BIBLICAL SYLE?” he says.
We all say “yes, a thousand times yes lord.”
“WAIT A MINUET I COULD UNDERSTAND THAT? YOU GUYS ARE NOT DRUNK ENOUGH TO ROCK AND ROLL!… but don’t worry I got ya covered” he says with a wink.
Suddenly the sprinklers kick on and water begins to fall down, Jesus whips with guitar and points it at the audience and says “WATER IN TO WINE BITCHES” and lets out a massive power cord. The water that was soaking our cloths was now vodka getting us drunk.
“oh man vodka my guitar must be out of tune… hang on I have to back home to fix this sorry guys… be back later”
His next show 2000 years later is already sold out.
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